think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
