You can't motorboat a personality
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
