We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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