Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
