great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
