Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize