Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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