His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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