dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
ok first of all what the fuck
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
