Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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