i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
