I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
