All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
false alarm, still single
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
