i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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