I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
