honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
