Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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