Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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