just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
