My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
