He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
