fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
