i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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