Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
