I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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