i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do herpes really smell.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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