Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
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