Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
