i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
