i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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