Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
