I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you had me at cake vodka
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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