Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i think i just lost a toe
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
