I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
