Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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