So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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