I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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