Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
