You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
