youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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