Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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