can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
