He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
