he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
