Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
