Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
