she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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