if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
