She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
