The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
