I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
