it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
