let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
