dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
