the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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