So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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