google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
