We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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