btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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