It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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