I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize