The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
