Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
