i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
