you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
