i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
