I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
